Today I sat in the rain.I came to see you today to tell you I missed you, It feels like forever since the last time I kissed you.On a February morning I sat in the rain, it washed away my tears as I embraced the pain.It’s so quiet out here the silence is vast, I think to myself as the heavens water your grass.You stood so bravely honey that is for sure, through a the suffering and pain you had endured.You’ve taught me so much in you short time here, saying daddy just trust me there’s nothing to fear.I was scared Lil I was scared out of my mind, I was calm on the surface but starting to unwind.Those final days babygirl were the worst kinds of hell, I knew you were leaving me this much I could tell.I prayed for it to be over every single day, you were so full of life you did not deserve to be this way.I blamed myself from beginning to end, my heart it was shattered impossible to mend.I picked you up one final time, I carried you out because you were mine.In a state of disbelief I sat there with your mother, waiting to break the news to your older and younger brother.Your little sister was 2 and to young to understand, why your no longer here and can’t hold her hand.Friends and family they came from near and far, you road on a unicorn not in that car.I carried you over and I was sad, I laid you to rest next to my brother and my dad.I’ve dug so many holes out here this much is true, the hardest one ever was the one for you.Today I sat in the rain Lily and I’m so glad I did, I have incredible things to tell you you’d be proud of me kid.The rain it does fall the clouds block out the light, but your daddy is focused while I sit here and write.I write these letters to you hoping that you’ll read them, even if you can’t physically see them.My darling daughter you’d be so proud of me, daddy stands tall no longer weak at the knees.I’ve danced in the darkness rain snow and on ice, even in a wonderland covered in lights.I stood on top of a waterfall And had an absolute blast, I found true love and this true love will last. I been working on myself with professionals who say, Mr Cramer it gets better just take it day by day. It doesn’t get easier but the rest the were right, I can finally breath and sleep easier at night.I’m no longer awake and scared of the dark, I’ve found something wonderful I’ve found my spark. To love and help others became my mission in life, I no longer fight with the bottle or fight with a knife.You have taught me so much how to enjoy and love life, so I share it with friends family and my future wife.The life you lived changed so many people, your courage rings loud like bells in a steeple.Today I sat in the rain babygirl just you and I, no songs on the radio just birds in the sky.Today I sat in the rain Lily Rose and time stood still, I’m happy to say that promise I made you is being fulfilled.Today I sat in the rain dearest and have only one regret, I have no change of clothes and now I am wet.Thanks for always believing in me! Cheers
